Steven Bugarin: Hey, Tim! It’s good to talk to you today. Let’s get right into it. When you joined, what made Sigma Phi Epsilon the fraternity for you and who or what inspired you to join?
Tim Hissem: When I first got to UCR, I lived in the A&I dorms and hung out with the dudes who I was in the dorms with. A lot of us had similar personalities, similar goals. I was in the Science Honors Hall, which I knew nothing about before I got there. They just split up different halls, whether you were a scholar or not. You could opt-in to be with people in your major.
I said “Okay. Cool, smart people? They can help me not be dumb or go off the rails”. But I found a close group of friends during the first quarter. We didn’t really do anything. We were all trying to focus on school and whatnot. After that, it all went well. We started thinking, maybe we should join a fraternity or some sort of organization to do a little bit more besides just school stuff.
My roommate at the time was in SigEp, so I had gone with him to a few things or a few social events, recruiting-type events. I was always really impressed by the older guys in the fraternity.
These are the guys who had been there for the charter, so they had been through a lot. They stood it up from basically nothing to something. At that time, SigEp wasn’t the largest numerically, but had the largest impact on campus with what they did through charity, social events, and everything else.
That really stood out to me and the guys who were seniors in the fraternity were mature. They knew what they were doing. They got good grades. They had good social lives. They also seemed to contribute in general to the university. That left an impression on me. They spoke well and were just fun to be around. They paired academic success with having career ambitions, and a social life to go with it. Pretty much all you would want out of college. So, I decided to go for it. It ended up working out well.
Steven Bugarin: Awesome. The culture and balance of the older guys was big draw for me, as well. Looking back, what success did the chapter have while you were an undergraduate?
Tim Hissem: For most years that I was in the chapter, we had the top GPA. When I joined, I think we had about 40 to 50 brothers. It dipped a little bit and then got up to almost 70-80 as I was closing out. The chapter pretty much doubled in size. We did the first large-scale charity event with the first 5k we did, which is cool. We did the first couple years of Adopt-a-Street. It was that street between the UV and Kmart. We did a lot of activities like that.
There were several firsts or a ton of expansion upon things that the original dudes had tried to set into motion.
Steven Bugarin: Sweet. You all provided us a good base to build off. When you were in chapter, what were some of the roles and responsibilities that you had?
Tim Hissem: The first year that I was there, as a Sigma, I worked on the Communications Committee. Nothing crazy. We would build the newsletter and send out other communications to get the word out about events. We worked with recruitment to get people to show up and things like that. I was also on IFC for a year.
In 2010-2011, I was the chaplain. Then I was a guard on the Standards Board. I did a lot of ritual stuff. Setting up rituals, doing rituals, trying to make sure everyone understood the importance of rituals.
Steven Bugarin: You definitely kept busy and helped build our culture. Continuing to reflect on the undergrad days, what is one of your fondest memories or experiences from your time in SigEp?
Tim Hissem: The retreats that we would do every quarter were always something I looked forward to. We would go to random places, like the world’s worst camping site in the Inland Empire, and just hang out. It was about being together, doing things that seemed dumb at the time, but were fun because we were all there. We’d hike, jump in lakes, make food at night, and just enjoy each other’s company. We even went camping on the beach near Santa Barbara and to Big Bear in the winter without sleeping bags. We all crammed into two tents because it was so cold. It was just so much fun.
Steven Bugarin: Yeah, I remember those times. Waking up early to do group workouts or jumping in the water when it was freezing. We played big games like capture the flag or steal the bacon, which got intense!
Tim Hissem: Those were the best times! I don’t know if my body can handle that now, but I’d love to try again with everyone.
Steven Bugarin: I agree. Let’s shift a bit and talk about the impact of brotherhood on you. Can you share a story where the support and camaraderie of your brothers played a crucial role in your life?
Tim Hissem: When Chris Lee got into his car accident in 2011, it was a shock to all of us. He was in the hospital for a long time. I kind of didn’t know what to expect, because you want to give people their space when people have family stuff going on. But it was just the way that everybody came together. For the first two months, we were there every day.
He started out somewhere in Moreno Valley, then moved to Riverside Community Hospital. We would all drive out there every day. I would have a two-hour break from class and I would drive over there, bring my my textbooks, and do whatever reading I had to do while hanging out with his family.
Sometimes we’d hang out with his family, even if we couldn’t see him. We supported each other, went out to eat, and just tried to be there for one another. For the brothers that lived with Chris and were very close, like Brian, Josh, Brenton, it was clearly harder. We just tried to be there for them, even if we didn’t talk about it. We would hang out and get something to eat, crack jokes about X, Y, and Z. We would discuss social events or whatever was happening in the moment.
It made me realize this wasn’t just about paying dues; these were real friendships and bonds. It was about being there for each other, no matter what. Even if I don’t understand what you’re going through, I’ll just hang out and listen.
It definitely brought a lot of us closer together. We could be there for his family, too. They were from the area, but they had moved somewhat recently to a new state. They were all getting back together for the first time. So, it was cool to be with them, meet all of them, and support them in any way we could.
Steven Bugarin: Yeah, the brotherhood that we had in the chapter during those times is hard to replicate. It allowed us to overcome a lot.
Tim Hissem: Right? Especially when you get any group of people together, you have natural conflict, right? There are dudes you just clash heads with whether you think of the world differently or think this or that chapter policy is dumb. It’s dumb in your mind, smart in their mind, vice versa. However, once something bad happens, all that goes out the window. You’re all on the same team as if the differences were never there. I heard about Jonathan Chavez passing, and I didn’t personally know him, but it was almost like the same impact that happened. I kind of saw it all from a distance. Although it was another super unfortunate incident, it was very similar in my mind, and I pray that doesn’t happen to anyone. I’m glad that kind of brotherhood and mentality still sticks around. That people come together and support our brothers and families who really need it.
Steven Bugarin: Yeah, when I got the phone call about Chavez I was in training in Texas. I got the call and broke down. I was close to Chavez, and he was the last brother I saw before shipping off. Seeing how close everyone was and the support they gave to his family, his mom, provided me with some peace. There was so much love. You can’t force that. That’s a natural thing that develops when you go through adversity together.
We’ve already touched on a few hardships. What were some of the most significant challenges that the chapter faced during the time you were there? And how were they overcome?
Tim Hissem: The first year, I didn’t really know what was going on, but things were going well. We had a lot of older guys who steered the ship and kept the younger guys, like me, corralled up. I was a young freshman, doing 18-19 year old kid stuff. Then they all graduated. It was an “Okay, now figure it out” type of situation. We didn’t really know what we were getting into and things kind of fell apart. We really weren’t recruiting very well. We didn’t really know what to do and the organization that I joined wasn’t really the same. There was a significant leadership void and collectively, we all had to come together and deal with it. Most of us didn’t really know what to do. We wanted to have fun. We wanted to be successful. But how do you actually do that? Right? It’s more than just saying “be balanced”. That year was pretty tough. We lost a lot of members. Why? We didn’t really get the best guys in and it kind of took a while for us to figure out. We had to figure out what we wanted. The second year was tough. It wasn’t as good as the first year. Things got a lot better my third year, and then got significantly better my last year.
But that lack of leadership and a lack of a handover hurt us. Nobody prepared the next generations to step up.
We kind of had to figure everything out. There was lot of involvement from dudes like Kevin Fleming and guys from Cal State San Bernardino. To overcome it, we all had to grow up.
Luckily, we had some older guys who were still in the vicinity. Dudes like Jaewoo, who was in dental school. He wrangled a couple of us in and provided guidance. He would say “Hey, do you want to do these things on Friday and Saturday? Here’s what you must do Sunday to Thursday. You can’t screw around every day. You need to dedicate like 80% of your time to being successful. Here’s what you do.” That was really helpful.
My first two years, about 60% of the guys who would join would not be there for Epsilon. Guys would
just blow away with the wind. There were all these things you had to do, but it was as an individual.
Unless you had the individual drive to do all these things, there’s really nobody making you do it. Me and a couple of other guys just wanted to do it. We kind of banded together, but a lot of the guys were just blowing in the breeze and didn’t really care. They could go to parties. They could do whatever. They got all the fun stuff but were never really held accountable.
We had dudes who had been there for 2 years and were still a Sigma. It’s like the system has failed you.
It’s important to have a chapter that moves together. You motivate each other and learn from what the others do. You strive to move up and grow together.
Steven Bugarin: Agreed. It’s good to have a team environment and have to face challenges together. How did being a member of SigEp help shape you as a person, both personally and professionally?
Tim Hissem: I would say I never really understood the importance of being balanced until I had like some heart to hearts with some of the older guys when I was a lot younger, a freshman or sophomore. Those talks had a big impact on me because you can’t just be the guy who knows it.
The guy who is all book smart can’t be the guy who’s physically fit all the time. He can’t also be the guy who goes to all the social events and parties. You must be able to pick and choose which is priority number one at any given point in time, then be able to reset back to an even balance. It was Jaewoo who taught me that. He is now a prominent dentist in the Los Angeles area. He taught me how to do all those things I mentioned before.
He was like, “Sunday through Thursday, all we do is study. Come over to my house, we’ll study together. I’ve taken these classes. I’ll help you or I’ll tell you what to do and how to be successful. Here’s what to do before tests. How do we accomplish that? We’re disciplined. Then Friday and Saturday, we can do what we want”.
On top of that. We carved an hour out every day for physical fitness. It doesn’t matter what it is. Go for a walk. Go to the gym. I don’t know if they still this, but we had a logbook in the gym to log our workout hours. There was a fraternity binder, and it had a SigEp section. I think there was something similar in the library to log your hours. That way people could keep track of you and make sure you’re doing the right thing. That really stuck with me.
Now, being in the military, it’s essentially the same thing. You need to be in shape. You need to know what you’re talking about. You need to be able to communicate. You have be able to do all these things at some point. As you go through things, one of those is more important than the other. You need to be able to pull that one out, do that one a little bit better, then go back to your baseline. You can’t be one dimensional in your life.
Another thing that helped was knowing how to build relationships with people. It’s like peer leadership because we’re not always in positions where, by authority or position, we’re in charge of somebody. Things still need to get done, and that’s probably the hardest part of being in a fraternity. All the guys are equal, and sometimes you need to make decisions that have financial ramifications for the chapter or are simply the right things to do. When you’re in charge of people who are your friends outside that role, you have to figure out how you are going to make these decisions that may affect them. Even though it is within a small scope, being in college, it seems dramatic at the time. In reality, it isn’t a big deal, but still, how do you do that?
I learned a lot as the chaplain. I learned how to do things that are generally unpopular, but the right decision for the fraternity. At the same time, you also need to watch out for people you care about, even if they may not be in the chapter anymore. How do you balance that peer leadership and communication aspect so that you’re maintaining relationships and looking after the betterment of the organization?
Steven Bugarin: Those are some good lessons, and definitely hard ones, especially with having to be a peer leader and make those decisions. You mentioned how your SigEp experience as a chapter leader has helped you in your military career. Tell me more about how the experience influenced your choice of career or your approach to professional life.
Tim Hissem: I knew what I wanted to do before I got to college. The ROTC program was through Cal State San Bernardino and had a small contingent at Cal Baptist. So, I did most of my military stuff there. I got my scholarship out of high school. College was essentially pennies to go, so I knew I had a good thing going. What I really didn’t know was, how do you do all of these things at once? Back to how to be balanced. That’s really what I learned from SigEp. Most of the time you need to be diligent, doing what you’re supposed to do. But, then again, you can’t just be that guy who sits at home, sits in an office or whatever, and just does work. You need to be able to mix it up and do other things, because so many other things come from that.
Building relationships and being able to communicate with people effectively all come from social type events. You need the knowledge to do your job correctly, but you also have to have the social skills that you learn through interacting with people. I have heard people say that communication skills probably get you 90% of the way and academic knowledge-type stuff by 10%. But it’s probably closer to 50%/50%. What really had a big impact on me was how you do all those things at once and deepen relationships as you move forward.
Steven Bugarin: Awesome. Speaking about how that shaped your path, give us a quick synopsis of your career path, so far.
Tim Hissem: I went to UCR, starting in fall 2008. I was A Sigma in Winter 2009. I graduated in Spring 2012 and then was on Active Duty in the US Army in Winter 2013. I’ve been in the US Army ever since. I was at Fort Sill for school, then I was at Fort Polk, Louisiana, for summer. That place was awful. You’re in the middle of nowhere and it’s a town of 6,000 people. You’re two hours from the nearest city, Shreveport. You’re three hours from the closest big city, Houston. I was down there for 3 and a half years.
I went to Afghanistan in 2016, then went back to Oklahoma for another 6 months. I then moved to Hawaii and was there for 6 years. did. I did a bunch of stuff and went to Afghanistan again in 2019. I was a battery commander twice, and then worked at USINDOPACOM. I then came here to the Marine Corps Command and Staff College, as a kind of exchange student. And I’m here now.
Steven Bugarin: Gotta love those military moves. If only US Army bases were placed in better areas! Hawaii is probably one of the exceptions.
Let’s talk about networking and opportunities. How have the connections that you made in SigEp impacted your professional and personal life after college?
Tim Hissem: Professionally, I know brothers in multiple fields. Like Jaewoo is a dentist. I’m also really good friends with Mark Gilpatrick, who almost seems to do it all. He’s got a degree in Chemical Engineering, and then got his MBA and bounces around tech companies doing engineering stuff. He is always giving me tidbits about what they do and the opportunities that are out there.
Personally, it’s great because I know somebody almost everywhere. Like when I flew home for Thanksgiving, before I landed, Mark had texted me and we hung out. When I was in Hawaii, people would hit me up to hang out. It’s a great network of friends across the country. We can do anything, even if we’re not meeting up in person. There is always someone to reach out to and talk to about literally anything.
Steven Bugarin: Very true. What advice would you give to current undergraduates on how tomake most of their time?
Tim Hissem: The easiest thing to do is just get involved. Just do something. Whether it’s volunteering on a committee, it doesn’t have to be glamorous work. If you help get a newsletter out, you help make some phone calls to do X, Y, and Z for a chapter event. Anything that helps benefit the chapter will benefit you, help you get to know people better, and make you feel more involved.
The other thing, I would say is seek out leadership roles. Even if it is for personal reasons, because you want to make yourself better, right? You want that free hack at being in charge of something and knowing what you can and can’t do. You find out where you need to better yourself.
There’s no better place than within the fraternity because it’s essentially a free rep at it. You’re not going to burn the ship down. You’re not going to do anything crazy. You’re just going to figure things out on the fly and everyone is in college. We understand people make mistakes. It’s all good. I think if you do those things, you are better prepared for when you get out into the real world. You’re going to learn all the small things that people never really realize: how to communicate, how to build relationships, and how to work with other people and understand the different dynamics or interpersonal perceptions of things that people have. That will make you a better teammate anywhere down the road that you go.
Steven Bugarin: Fantastic. Yeah, it’s a great way to get that that first rep in. In what ways have you given back or how do you plan to give back and mentor current members?
Tim Hissem: I’m here for what I can do for the AVC from a distance. I’m not going to be back in Riverside anytime soon, just like you. You’re doing your thing in Austin. I’m probably never going back to Riverside to live. I just want to help people. I dial into the AVC calls when I can, with work and everything.
I know the undergrads have a lot of work with the Standards Board, from my experience being the chaplain. A lot of difficult stuff, too. I remember having to remove the majority of the guys who I was friends with as freshmen in the dorms. You had to do it, and it’s tough. So, I understand how it is.
I just want to be a resource. I want to there to help them figure things out and also to help them understand that the things that happen while you’re in college, minus actual crimes, is all just a learning experience. If things don’t work out, it’s not the end of the world.
I remember if something didn’t go perfectly, people would freak out. “We lost $600!” Like, dude, nobody cares. No one is going to remember in 5 days. It’s not the end of the world. Let’s just do things together, learn from each other, and attempt to make the organization better. We’ll all learn.
I think that I can help with that aspect of the college experience. Also, if anyone is considering the military, I can provide advice. I’m not a recruiter, so I can’t tell you the party line, but I can tell you the way that that it’s helped me, and how much I’ve enjoyed it. I always tell guys talk to people who aren’t recruiters and who are who’ve been in for a few years, and they’ll give you the real story.
Steven Bugarin: If any undergraduates are listening and considering the military, reach out. It’s always a good idea to talk to trusted brothers who aren’t your recruiter.
Tim, in your view, what are the most important qualities and values that SigEp should instill in its members to ensure a successful and sustainable future?
Tim Hissem: It’s sticking to the balance man concept. That’s the thing that’s going to stick with you once you leave college. College is a bubble, but you can figure out how to do multiple things at the same time and be successful. Learn how to focus on work and switch between academics and work. Learn how to have a social life, how to communicate with people, and how to do good things for those around you. That’s the most beneficial thing you can learn, as you graduate college and enter the workforce.
For the brothers still in the chapter, just do what you can to make the chapter better. It’s not about individuals. It’s not about what you’re going to do on Friday night. It is about making the organization last. You want to do things that are positive, so that if you went back 30 or 40 years from now, and your kid was joining fraternity they would look at it and say, “Yeah, my dad help build this. It was the things that he did, the things that he helped build, and what it gave to him that made this a lasting organization.”
Those are probably the two most important things.
Steven Bugarin: Looking ahead, what are your own aspirations and goals for the future and how do you see SigEp continuing to play a role in your life?
Tim Hissem: I’m going to stick it out in the US Army for as long as I can, as long as I’m still enjoying it. Like I was talking about improving the chapter, you can’t fix the US Army. You can’t fix the government. You can’t do things like that. But, you can affect the circle that you’re in. We can make the little things a little bit better, even if you can’t fix the bigger things.
I’m trying to do that in my professional life and improve what I can. I would say that is exactly what is needed for everybody in the chapter, to have that mentality. Then things would get significantly better, faster than probably most people realize. It’s human nature, to watch out for yourself. But, when we watch out for an organization, watch out for somebody else, you’re going to make tiny things better.
Those cumulative effects of tiny things have significant impacts on happiness of people. When people are happy things will improve.
I’m sure the dudes right now care, as well. They’re doing good things from what I listen to in the AVC meetings, they all care. They want to make things better, so it’s just instilling that in the younger generation of guys to keep that going forward.
Steven Bugarin: Sounds great. I have one more for you before we go. Is there anything else you’d like to add about your time with SigEp or your life about your life since college?
Tim Hissem: To the alumni, try to make a positive impression on the younger guys. I think there’s a natural tension between the guys in the chapter and alumni. It’s the usual, old guys telling us what to do. “You’re not here. You don’t know what it’s like.”
We did the same thing. Kevin Fleming would give us advice, and he was always right. He would always tell us what we needed to hear, not what we wanted to hear. I’m sure brothers like you, if they received a call from someone on a random night and was like, “Hey, I got a problem with this. It’s this dude, and it’s a standards issue. What do you think?” You would provide your opinion and allow them to handle the situation.
The older guys are a resource. They have a lot of experience. We know what we did wrong. We know we did right, or right-ish, and the ramifications. So, use alumni as a resource. There’s a bunch of different guys, too. Everyone doesn’t have to go to you with problems, they can go to any brother who’s just a little bit older. It can provide some insight.
Steven Bugarin: Yeah. I’m hopeful we’re building toward increased collaboration and trust. Thank you for taking the time to chat, Tim. It was a pleasure learning more about your career. We’ll link up for some military convos and hopefully share some brews at future alumni events.
Tim Hissem: It was fun getting to do this. We will. Have a good one!